Frankie's Funhouse: Animatronic Horror Romance (Umbra Valley) by Beatrix Hollow

Author:Beatrix Hollow [Hollow, Beatrix]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-02-05T00:00:00+00:00

6

The animatronic band was still playing which led me to believe they weren’t monsters, just regular creepy animatronics that tickled the uncanny valley. They finished off the birthday song complete with a group moment where they congratulated each other on how good they played. All the while Frankie slowly turned towards a bunch of stumbling parents and their drug dealers who had yet to notice he was holding a chainsaw that had a sloshing full tank of gas.

“Funhouse Band,” Frankie yelled with chipper glee, getting their attention. The animatronics all swiveled to look at Frankie.

“Time for some death metal,” he growled, holding the chainsaw higher while his red eyes glowed violently. The animatronics looked at each other then Dizzy Duck, or whatever his name was, stepped up and started to riff his guitar.

That got the adults’ attention.

“Hey, where the fuck is my kid?” Some dad yelled out, already belligerent before he knew what was going on. He was wearing a Frankie’s Funhouse adult tee shirt that he’d cut the arms off of to make a muscle shirt. Admittedly, he had quite a bit of muscle. It was flexing right now—veins popping and his neck throbbing like an overfed eel.

I opened my mouth to suggest running and to tell them their kids were hiding in the mall. But I was in a very stressful situation and mangled the entire thing.

“I hid your fucking kids!” I screamed and they looked at me in a terrified expression that quickly morphed to rage. Luckily Dizzy Duck and the rest of the Funhouse Band really kicked off the song. Death metal blasted, Marabell Mozzarella was slamming her drumsticks on her set like she desired to obliterate them. Dizzy Duck’s beak opened and Japanese lyrics came spilling out.

“What?” I said, not that anyone could hear me over the guitar, drums, and bass. Oh and Frankie’s chainsaw. The belligerent dad stepped past the stage, coming at me like a silverback gorilla that intended to rip a threat in half. Frankie bent down while giving a squeaky, manic giggle that sounded wildly inappropriate as he dug the chainsaw into the throbbing eel neck of Belligerent Dad.

Frankie didn’t bother trying to work his way through the thick neck. He ripped the chainsaw back out with a wet slurp and blood rained down from the chainsaw as the neck geysered red in an impressive, high-powered fountain half fueled by cocaine.

The parents started screaming, Frankie giggled, and Gus turned towards me and ran. I tried to work off my skates as fast as possible, shooting up looks at Gus barreling towards me. Frankie leapt off the stage to butcher an arm off one of the moms. She stood there watching in shock, screaming as good as any scream queen as he sent the weapon through the limb and it fell to the ground.

Dizzy Duck was now singing Welcome to the Jungle in Japanese. I must have accidentally loaded the wrong language floppy disc during the brief training Gus gave me. Man, I was shit at this job.

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